Could I Have Done Something?
by Matt Alan
Summary: A pilot has a drink. Wonders what he could have done. My first attempt at someone, besides my own original chara's, POV. Please R&R!!


Hey minna

Hey minna! Arigatou for all the reviews my crappy fics have been given. Seriously. I thought I could write a quickie. Kinda like my poems. (Trying to redo the awful Everlasting Star fic. I promise it'll be a ton better this time around.) This is dedicated to a close friend of mine. He knows who he is.

`Starsaber

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Could I Have Done Something?

I walk up to a building. Old, dinky, should have been condemned long ago. I close my eyes as I enter.

I slowly open my eyes. The air in the room is soft. You could cut through it with a knife. Thus is the usual surrounding of the Last Resort Bar.

I look slowly around. The bar is done in the old fashioned American style. Lousy.

"Hey mister? What'll you have?"

I turn my attention to the man addressing me. A middle aged, overweight bar tender. 

I sigh and walk toward the bar counter seats.

"Sure. Give me the strongest drink you got."

I sit down on a rickity ole chair. Old, and rotting. Just like the rest of this sorry hole that we call Space.

The bartender mixes strong alcoholic beverages together. I see him look at one liquor and decide against it.

"Put that in too."

The bartender, startled, turns around with a grim expression on his face. 

"But sir…?"

"Put it in, I'll pay for any extra costs."

"Ok…?"

"Yes. Ok."

The bartender sighs and begins to pour the liquid into my drink. I catch a glimpse at the name on the added stuff. Nuriko Special. 

The overweight man, finally, gives me my drink. I pay him the cost. There wasn't anything extra for the 'Nuriko Special'.

I take a short sip of my beverage. 

I nearly choke. 

I'm not use to alcohol, but this Nuriko stuff must be illegal. Or, it should be.

But what do I care?

I just killed my best friend.

I sigh and take a long drink from my drink.

'Trowa!'

'NO TROWA!!!!'

'Quatre…I…the five of us… have lost all purpose…the colonies teaming up…'

'with…OZ…we five have become lost…'

'this marks the end of our…missions…'

'NO TROWA!!!!"

'Quatre… turn back into that kind guy I once knew…'

'TROWA!!!'

'Quatre…my friend… I hope something… something…calms you down…'

I groan as if in pain.

"What's wrong kid?"

I turn my attention to the bartender. He has a worried expression on his face.

I sense this man is a kind one.

"Don't worry about it mister."

"If you say…"

The man turns his attention to cleaning up the counter.

Before I know it my drink is gone.

Something soft lands on my shoulder. A spider. 

I smile. I gently lift the spider from my shoulder and set him down on the ground.

When I turn back around, I order the same drink again. And that's how it goes for a few hours.

I nod off to sleep once. But I'm haunted by the same dream.

'Heero! You gotta save Trowa!'

'Hurry up! If you don't go save Trowa he'll die!'

'Yea…and you're the one that killed him.'

My tears do nothing to calm Heero down.

'Quatre…I'm gonna kill you.'

'Then hurry up and do it! Then you can go save Trowa!'

'Pretty half hearted way to go about fighting. I guess Trowa's death was a waste!'

"Hey kid?"

I look up into the bartender's eyes. I see pity in them.

I wonder if I even hinted pity when I destroyed that colony.

"Yes? Mister?"

"You look down. Wanna talk about it?"

"No that's ok. You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

I sigh and look at the rotting ceiling.

"Space…it's so lonely…"

"Lonely?"

"Yea"

"Wanna talk about it?"

I stare into the man's soft green eyes. The same color as Trowa's.

He shivers a bit but stares back.

I swallow and begin my story.

"I…I was once adrift in Space, once."

He makes himself a drink absentmindedly.

"I had no chance of survival. None."

"How? How do you mean that? Wasn't there other people with you?"

I smile bitterly.

"I was on a Mobile Suit Launch Capsule. I was all alone."

"A kid like you? You can't be but 13!"

I let out a cough to cover my laugh.

"I'm 15. And have been quite capable of taking care of myself for some time."

"A runaway?"

"Not exactly but kind of."

He thinks to himself for a minute.

"Do you wish to continue with your tale now mister?"

I jerk myself back to reality.

"Ok. If you want to hear the rest of it."

"I do."

"I drifted in Space for days. No food. No water. Nothing."

"Oh my!"

"Heh… yea… but someone fount me. My sister."

"Sister?"

"Yea. One of the 29 of them."

"Ok…29 huh?"

"Yes."

"Ok. But what I don't understand is how you survived in Space without provisions."

"I just thought about what my friend told me."

"A friend, huh?"

"Yeah. He was my greatest friend. He could understand me better than anyone."

"So… you survived an impossible trip to Space, was rescued by a sister. And you seem fine. So what's eating at you?"

"I killed my friend yesterday is why."

The bartender's face turns white. He looks like he's gonna be sick.

"I've done some awful stuff, committed too many sins. I can't be forgiven. Unless… unless…I can find…"

I set down my 4th glass of Nuriko's Special.

"May I have another?"

The sound of a door closing behind me arouses the bartender's attention.

I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Quatre. I think you've had enough for the night."

That cold, monotonous voice could belong to only one person.

I turn slightly and stare into Heero Yuy's prussian blue eyes.

"Heero… any leads on Trowa yet?"

"No. Not yet. But I do know where we're going next."

"Where?"

"Quatre, we're going to the Earth."

Read and review??? Please??

'Starsaber


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